


Dense

by Mousekins



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Akira also can't handle the gay feels, First fic in this fandom be kind to me orz, Light spoilers for the game nothing's really explored in depth but some imagery is there, M/M, Ryuji is a soft traumatised boy who can't handle the gay feels, The girls are mentioned as is yusuke but they're not like.. there, This ship needs more love, aka akira's back home and they're visiting him, just guys being dudes and having nightmares, post game spoilers, this got sad real fast and I'm sorry, this takes place after the end of the game, this was meant to be pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 20:22:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17066450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mousekins/pseuds/Mousekins
Summary: Ryuji is dense, and Akira's looking to get rid of all these butterflies in his stomach whenever he smiles at him.





	1. Beyond stupid

Ryuji is dense.

He is many things; a best friend, a solid confidant, strong, overly caring, a hot head-- but above all else, he was irrefutably dense. He is one of the most solid people for emotional intelligence, he could read the room like he reads soccer player plans. Ryuji could tell him exactly how his friends were feeling, and yet couldn’t pick up a book or retain any level of social or intellectual intelligence to save his life. Quite literally. Akira is sure it was that emotional intelligence that caused them to meet that day. The students whispering, his casual invitation to the rooftop, and Ryuji _knew_ what it meant to be an outcast, he could sense one from miles away. Ryuji held a judgement in him and Akira trusted in that judgement for as long as the Chariot arcana had stayed within him.  


And then it happened.  


Each soft blush that tinted Ryuji’s cheeks had his heart racing, every time Ryuji read manga with him, every wide-eyed moment watching soccer matches, the flushed face and the gentle panting after a long run. It all bubbled within him and filled him with unnecessary feelings, his lungs felt like they couldn’t get enough air when he was around him, and Ryuji merely looked at him and smiled.

 

As dense as ever.

 

Akira’s heart still flutters with every call, every text, Ryuji’s voice swells on the other end of the phone- a fake imitation of the real person, and his mind will occasionally flash back to the days fighting shadows. The huge grin on his face, the cocky spirit, the anger and the passion Ryuji held in his heart. It was almost grounding. A reliable feeling in the shape of a high-schooler desperate to belong, and the electricity that had burst forth from their encounter had stood his hairs on end.  


He wanted to feel that way again.  


It hadn’t come as a surprise later in the months when Ryuji came over to visit, the others would soon join them in his house, and a part of him felt alien to the room. He wanted to be back in his old attic where him and his best friend would play video games and read manga, and Ryuji shot him a soft look and a bigger smile. They could do that anyway, for old time’s sake. The others had taken up spots sleeping around the house- the girls in the living room, the boys upstairs. It had been a unanimous agreement to let Akira continue to have his room, the girls felt like they would be imposing on him otherwise. Yusuke had offered to sleep outside of the room as well, but they all agreed to stick the boys in the bedroom and the girls would sleep downstairs. Ryuji had later joined him on his bed despite his own makeshift bed being placed upon the floor- incapable of sleep was the excuse.   


Ryuji had confessed to nightmares, he says that they don’t bother him as much any more. Some days he dreams of explosions and sinking ships, other days he dreams of blood and flesh and ruined cities. He says they shouldn’t worry about him, he’ll be fine because he always woke up afterwards.

The bags under his eyes begged to differ on his state of mind.

Before either of them knew it, they were closer than normal. Akira’s arm had moved on its own, wrapping around his friend’s shoulder to pull him close. Ryuji wasn’t big on affection, but he was seemingly too tired to complain about the comfortable chest his head had landed on. As if that was all the permission he needed, Ryuji had passed out before his very eyes.  


Ryuji is his best friend, his confidant, and he felt a devotion to him. To protect him.  


Even as they awaken from their slumber, Ryuji looking up at him from the floor- he had been awake for some time it seemed- he smiles at him. His heart, predictably, flips a few times as his stomach knots. _The bags only seemed worse_ .

Ryuji makes an excuse later that he’s not feeling too good and to go out without him, everyone shows distress over his ‘illness’, chiding him for interrupting their trip to see Akira. Akira offers to stay with Ryuji because it’s the least he can do as their host. They stay inside for the day and watch movies instead. Ryuji murmurs a soft thanks towards him, and Akira finds his lips twitching upwards. That night when they all went back to bed, Ryuji was sat on the end of his bed again, head in his hands and muttering about not being able to shake the damn nightmares off. When he sat up, the other looked at him like a deer in headlights before relaxing and hunching back over again. He says to not worry about him.  


The reply only shoots disbelief back at him.  


His eyes trained on him, sparkling slightly in the dim lightings of the room. Akira doesn’t quite know what caused him to pull Ryuji close, but they sat there for some time, in each others arms- the soft muffled sniffles of his best friend. Exhausted, drained, and in desperate need of proof he belonged.  


He says the nightmares sometimes are the girls yelling at him. He can still feel the slap against his cheek for causing them worry. Sometimes they’re casinos, or vaults, and he’s trapped, he’s alone.

 

He’s scared.

 

The reply is of a promise. He will keep him safe. No nightmares will cause him harm any more, and Ryuji’s face lights up- just a little- enough to give him hope. Akira had changed people in the Metaverse, and though it no longer existed, who was to say he couldn’t invade dreams too? It brings forth laughter from the blonde, and the flips his heart performs when Ryuji jokingly tells him he loves him is enough to burst the words in his throat, and all protest dies.

Ryuji is his first crush, and Ryuji continues to be dense.  
  


They’re all pretty sure they could spell it in neon lights and Ryuji would never notice. They had all known for quite some time that Akira’s heart had been taken by the ‘local idiot’, they didn’t understand how, but they were determined to see if they couldn’t get Ryuji to fall for him too.  


That night, Ryuji had sat at the end of his bed again, an uncharacteristic pensive expression on his face. Akira sat up, he apologises for waking him again, and Akira states there’s no issue to it. He says another nightmare came to him.  His voice had shaken out all its resolve, and even as their hands meet and their bodies close the gaps. Even as their arms squeeze each other until the air breaks their lungs and he’s left gasping through choked breaths and tears and snot.  


Even as Akira says that it’s fine.  


Even as Akira, short of breath, states that he loves him.   


The sobbing stutters.  


“ _I know ._ ”


	2. but that's fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which feelings are spilled and now the floor's a mess. Thanks guys.

They’re not sure exactly what had happened that night. After Ryuji had said he knew, and after the tears dried up and all that was left were puffy eyes and shaky laughter. Their hands were still linked together, their bodies still close, and the silence seemed to ebb on forever. The silence is only broken by Ryuji’s soft and broken chuckles.  
  
  
He says he’s known for a while, says that he can’t handle his own knots, how he hates the butterflies and the anxiety of his best friend rejecting him, how he’s been pushing the feelings down ever since that damn castle. He admits the slight jealousy he felt over the girls fawning over him, and how he wishes they could’ve seen him like that too-- if only to invalidate all of these wells forming within him.  
  
  
He says how he’s angry and frustrated over not seeing it sooner, how he wishes he could’ve said it back when they were all a team. His hand tightens around Akira’s as though it would somehow convey all of his feelings without him needing to say it. The only thing Akira can really do is listen as Ryuji spills out all of his feelings to him, and it hurts just how long they’ve been suffering over this.  
  


He replies in kind. Saying how he admired Ryuji’s strength, how he wouldn’t trade him for the world, how his hard-headed ways got them in trouble but saved them all the same, how he was a worthy friend and how he made his own stomach knot and flip and filled him with doves. Ryuji isn’t all that surprised to hear it, he’s known for some time. He’s dense, but he knows how his best friend feels.  
  


Akira untwines their hands to instead place it on the side of Ryuji’s face. Stroking his cheek and feeling the heat slowly rise up into his palm, there was no turning back now that their hearts had been filleted before each other. With that thought in mind, their foreheads pressed together and in the darkness of the room, it was as though the world had melted around them.  
  


The suffocating feeling of desire pulls them closer, and Akira can’t stop the laughter that bubbles from him- it’s so uncharacteristic of them, it was like Kamoshida’s palace had inflicted some kind of date rape drug on them, leaving them drowsy long after they’d left. Ryuji scowls at him a little for breaking the mood with laughter, but he wouldn’t really have it any other way. He says this shit is too sappy for him anyway, and before Akira can really respond appropriately, lips are already mashed against his.  
  


Ryuji had never kissed a person before in his life, and it was fairly obvious. The pressure was all wrong, it was harsh against his mouth and Akira has to pull back a little to correct Ryuji’s stance. He apologises, Akira just smiles and leans forward again. Their mouths meet back in the middle, the kiss is far gentler this time as the pressure between them equalises for just a moment, and Akira can feel the heat on his cheeks.  
  


Their arms snake around each other, pulling them closer as Ryuji half-straddles him back down onto the bed, their mouths parting in favour of the blonde nuzzling into Akira’s neck. They lay like that for a while. In each other’s hold, the warmth spreading between them, and the next thing Ruiji says almost causes Akira to push him off the bed and onto the floor. He asks, filled with uncertainty, if this makes them an item now.  
  


Ryuji is dense, and also his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to write more of these two, feedback is super appreciated! 'w'b  
> This chapter is a little shorter than the other one, mostly because I wanted to finish it up on a fluffy note. The more I write the sadder things get, apparently... oops....


End file.
